Heavyweight

I don’t usually talk about my weight. I am not ashamed of it neither am I insecure of my own body. It is the opposite, actually. I am very body positive, and I have never pictured myself as a “fat person.” While that has done great for my self-esteem, that doesn’t necessarily translate well for my overall health.

I am a child of rubber band parents. These are the types that try every few years to change their eating habits. They seek out what is the latest trend and ride the wave for a while. When it dies down and they either bail off the board completely or go back to an easier diet until that, too, dies off and they end up right back where they started. I’ve tried Weight Watchers, the “eat whatever you want and still lose weight” diet. I attempted once the Keto challenge, but not being able to have sugars, or worse potatoes, effectively killed any hopes of staying on course. A few years ago my wife and I tried the UFC FIT program. It is similar to P90X but with a MMA twist. It was fun. It reminded me of when I used to wrestle as a heavyweight in high school, the only time of the year when I was in the best shape imaginable, and the food choices are geared toward a whole foods mindset where you can eat complete meals without compromising taste and nutrition.

But the case with all of these diets was that they were for only a specified time, and when we were done with them we threw away their principles and went right back into old habits.

I regret that the most with UFC FIT. Designed by nutrition guru, Mike Dolce, it had things I could relate to. Sure, it took time getting used to drinking almond milk instead of good-old fashioned dairy. Yes, whole wheat bread and pastas taste a bit different and take longer to chew because of all their fiber—but you do stay fuller for a longer period of time. And kicking soda pop to the curb for 12 weeks seemed like an impossible task. But once I overcame those hurdles it wasn’t so bad. We were eating real food, and we were eating it often. The plan required you to eat every 2-4 hours between meals and snacks. How can you be mad when you’re encouraged to eat!

The exercises were tough. I started the program at 320 pounds. Starting the day off by doing jumping jacks and mountain climbers wasn’t something I was looking forward to doing. I still remember every muscle in my body aching and groaning after that first workout. I dreaded the two flights of stairs I had to climb to my nonfiction writing workshop. I could barely raise my arms. I willed my legs over each step all the while considering using the handicap elevator to go up the next level.

But again, when the barrier broke, things got better. By the time our first weigh-in came around two weeks later, I had dropped 15 pounds. It was a powerful experience. It was the boost needed to keep going.

By the time the program ended I went from 320 pounds to 250. I went from a size 46 in pants back to my natural 38, and I was no longer wearing 3XL shirts but showing off my slimmer figure in XLTs and every so often in a large.

I. Looked. Good!

But then I fell back into familiar waters. It was my senior year of college with late night projects and 40-hour work weeks to sustain my tiny little family. Coca-cola and Mountain Dew were easier substitutes for energy instead of digging deep and finding willpower with a bottle of water and a healthy snack. Taco Bell’s five-dollar meal boxes conveniently satisfied my hunger when I lacked discipline to pack a lunch and a couple of snacks to carry me through until dinner.

Slowly the weight came back, and this time it brought its cousins, in-laws, and a few school buddies. I now weigh 420 pounds with a number of issues that I am experiencing for the first time. I won’t list them here, but they are things that I can correct if I choose to do so.

And I have.

This is the first post in a series of posts, I hope. I have started many weight loss journeys only to end up back or even beyond the starting point. This time I am on a life journey, and I’d like to share it with you.

I am not a weight loss expert and I don’t want to be one. You can, at best, consider me an inspiration, at worst, a good story. There are plenty accounts of people that have lost massive weight and have changed their lives around completely. I hope to add my story to theirs. From time to time I will post pictures and other stories and updates. I want this blog to, in a very important and public way, hold me accountable of my decisions and where I am progressing.

I will forever be a heavyweight, but I don’t want it to be my weight class anymore. I’m getting back on the board. I’ve already chosen my wave, and this time I’m not going to bail.